Pipes of Anxiety

​

Pipes of Anxiety is a manifestation of how an autistic mind experiences anxiety and how it can be overwhelmed by an everyday object or situation having a profound impact on a person's life.
​
As an autistic ceramic artist, I find the process of sculpting from clay a relaxing and calming experience. It helps to focus the mind and pushes anxieties and the physical manifestations of anxiety to the background which in turn helps to reduce them.
​
My work has been inspired by Hayden Gardner; his paintings explore his and other people's relationship with mental health and the metaphorical monsters that are created in the mind.
​
My own monsters come in the form of anxieties over, what are to everyone else, everyday situations and objects. I have an overwhelming fear of being in a situation of sensory overload, one unexpected loud noise, bright flashing light or 'terrifying' object can lead to a sudden intense anxiety, disorientation and a powerful urge to escape the situation.
​
Pipes provoke a visceral sense of fear within me, they have some unknown industrial use culminating in anxiety and disorientation. I have combined my sculptural clay work with the use of sound and light as an attempt to overload the senses of the viewer to portray or even create feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. Etched into the pipes are personal diary entries from difficult times in my life, they relate to events such as a panic attack, anxiety attack, or a letter to a loved one who has sadly passed away. These events are similarly etched into my life, there is an inability to let go of the past, almost as if the sensory overload is written into my life forever. The use of colour and pattern on each of the pipes represents the emotions that each of the diary entries provoked within me. The cracked and broken pipes portray the fragility of the autistic mind.